Reflect / Reason

When our child returns to their calm self, we can then reflect back to the moment experienced & reason with them. It is best to empower our child to come to their own realizations rather than overpowering our child. 

Helpful Link

Click here for course notes

Emotional Wheel for kids

Feel free to join the conversation below.

Collapse Comments

Difficult for me to say… but I see that most times I was overpowering, instead of empowering. I wanted to fix my child’s problem because it was so hard for me to see them upset. When I was upset as a child I was isolated and left alone and no one ever addressed or cared about how I felt. I had food and shelter and should be grateful. My child is grown .. now I do empower her, though I see so clearly how when she was young I did not. Can I fix this ? Should I talk to her about this ?

Sterna Suissa (Administrator) August 10, 2022 at 9:02 AM

Hi Kayla,
Your desire to self reflect & be honest with yourself is truly inspiring.It can be so painful to reflect back & notice how we wish we handled things differently. How old is your daughter please? Do you see a difference now that you are trying your best to empower her versus overpowering her? Makes so much sense that you tried your best to find ways to “fix” your child’s emotions when your own emotions were neglected as a child. I’m sending so much love to mini you that was worthy of being listened to & loved unconditionally.

Thank you for your response. Now she is 20. As I had more kids I changed my style. I saw that she was very insecure..often not knowing what to wear.. what to do ..etc. When I started to be more empowering she would get upset and want me to tell her what to do… I created a situation in which she is just insecure or upset at me. Not sure if I’m making sense. 

Sterna Suissa (Administrator) August 12, 2022 at 6:52 PM

You make a lot of sense & that helps me understand a lot more, thank you. I think there’s something so powerful in being honest with our adult children. Sharing with her that as a first time mom you weren’t as knowledgable & you’d love to hear how she felt as a child & offering her love, validation & empathy for whatever she shares with you. There’s so much healing for an adult child to be able to open up honestly & see that their parent is open to hearing & facing things that have stuck with them from their childhood that was painful etc. She’s truly blessed to have you.

Leave a Comment

Free Ebook

Get your copy of our "Daily Journal for Kids"

Enter your email below: