Do we really want to put our kids in a Time-Out?

Do we really want our child to believe that their emotions are too much for us to handle?

Do we really want our child to believe that experiencing anger & pain is a bad thing?

Do we really want them to believe that when they do experience uncomfortable emotions, they need to isolate themselves instead of reaching out for help & support?

Many young children are sent to time-outs when they have a tantrum/emotional outburst. We then wonder why so many teenagers isolate themselves in their rooms when they are feeling overwhelmed rather than coming to share with us their challenges.

When children are young, they need our help to process, organize, make sense of & express how they are feeling in healthy ways. Our role is to provide them with their needs on the moment. Telling a young child to go into a time-out is not beneficial in any way, what do they learn when they are alone with their emotions in an isolated space? How would we feel if this was done to us?

When we feel our child does need some time way from their environment, why don’t we stay with them in the room also? Oftentimes it’s not only the pain the child is feeling that is uncomfortable, it’s being alone with their painful emotions that feels overwhelming.

When kids are young, they will cry over things that seem minor in our adult eyes. Thing is, it’s never about those things they are crying over, it’s about their emotions they are experiencing. Before we know it our child’s seemingly small things become bigger things as they grow bigger & we want to be there for them. We want our child to know & trust that we will always be there for them no matter what they are going through.

 

with love,
Sterna

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